It's been years, I knew a friend, she's been nothing but rather a prominent student to me. I had no much impression to this girl but thought she's quite outstanding on her own aspect. Until one day, until my another friend spoke to me that she has rather a good mask to hush up her interior real self that I at once changed my impression to her. Yes, it's the turning point where it changed everything. Not that I'm putting blame on my friend, but to speak of a truth, I have to admit it. I didn't realize her at all until my friend spoke of her attitude and so that I instantly had the same perspective point of view as her. Ok at this point, I could tell that I was easily affected and been bathed my head.
I am learning it. I was struggling and learning not to merely listen to a gossip since I have never spoken to anyone nor to understand one before. I know I shouldn't, she's my friend, I listen to her, standing on her side so that I thought we are in the same line and to show my support and honest. At the same time, I neglected my own thinking. I've gradually forgotten my own opinion to a certain sensitive stuff, and the worse of all - I lost trust to myself. Soon, I realized it's not a matter of anything but a matter of being myself.
A mere gossip could change one's mind and lost oneself. I learned it, learned not to listen to nonsense talk of people but to understand a situation first before taking into any action or having bad comment towards others.
There's a wall, a barrier lies in between, of course I know I can jump over it but I didn't. If to tell a truth is to hurt, then I'd rather have it hidden; if to hide is to escape, if to hide is to remain it unsolved, if to hide is to be your own barrier, then I'd say to hide is to let everything dissolves at its own rate, slowly and quietly, without time's realization. Time can heal it, hoping not to hurt anyone else. Since it was my first biggest mistake, first mistake that I'm so afraid to overcome, I choose to hide the secret in my deepest heart, let it sinks, let it goes, it remains for ever, no residue left (I promise).
Let me express to myself one more time,
Argh!! I'm so regret!
I am learning it. I was struggling and learning not to merely listen to a gossip since I have never spoken to anyone nor to understand one before. I know I shouldn't, she's my friend, I listen to her, standing on her side so that I thought we are in the same line and to show my support and honest. At the same time, I neglected my own thinking. I've gradually forgotten my own opinion to a certain sensitive stuff, and the worse of all - I lost trust to myself. Soon, I realized it's not a matter of anything but a matter of being myself.
A mere gossip could change one's mind and lost oneself. I learned it, learned not to listen to nonsense talk of people but to understand a situation first before taking into any action or having bad comment towards others.
There's a wall, a barrier lies in between, of course I know I can jump over it but I didn't. If to tell a truth is to hurt, then I'd rather have it hidden; if to hide is to escape, if to hide is to remain it unsolved, if to hide is to be your own barrier, then I'd say to hide is to let everything dissolves at its own rate, slowly and quietly, without time's realization. Time can heal it, hoping not to hurt anyone else. Since it was my first biggest mistake, first mistake that I'm so afraid to overcome, I choose to hide the secret in my deepest heart, let it sinks, let it goes, it remains for ever, no residue left (I promise).
Let me express to myself one more time,
Argh!! I'm so regret!
P/s: They're not around, so no worry.
@You're at my site! http://spiding-escape.blogspot.com/ or click on the link below to view my original post (to FB users).
=)
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