It's best not to listen to any songs when you're so determined to blog because musics might interrupt your thoughts and your flow of ideas will be disrupted. So here I am, with peaceful environment and empty mindset, waiting for ideas to strike because something which I hate to happen has happened today, I was thinking about blogging when I was in the tuition class and I'm thinking where to start now.
Well, I just dislike people comment about someone looks alike with me. Not entirely alike, just "look" like me. My Biology tuition teacher, at first, was looking at a girl, then he was looking at me, then the girl, it's like looking at us back and forth, confusingly. I can sense something already. I knew he's going to compare or comment something with regards to our appearance.
And I was right. My sixth sense is always right. I'm always this sensitive.
He said whenever he sees either the girl or me, he will be wondering whether she's from Puching or Seri Tanjung; or in other words, whether I'm from Puchong or Seri Tanjung. He said the girl and I look really alike based on his biological point of view and our lesson last week was about Variation. "We" were sort of the feedback example of the previous lesson. I felt rather... distracted.
Com'on! You can't possibly say she looks like me or I look like her or we look like each other or something. I set my eyes curiously and had a glance at the girl and omg!! We're so different!
1. I'm wearing full-frame BLOODY-RED specs and she's wearing half-frame with dark colour specs.
2. My face *looks* smoother. (I just discovered some pimples on my cheeks recently)
3. Our facial features are so DIFFERENT.
4. I'm prettier (according to my friend)
I feel like I'm losing my identity. If somebody said I look like someone (other than my family members), I feel like I'm not special anymore. I want to be unique on my own, the only girl with this unique look and once you meet this girl, you immediately know she's CHONG MEAN SHAN. Even to a stranger, he/she should think that "oh! what a refreshing look." or he/she can feel rather so-so, being indifferent.
Sorry girl... You're fine. It's just me, being not right.
In fact, come to think about it, they aren't of any wrong you know. I think the major problem is me myself. I'm too concerned on others' opinion. This is what makes me feel like losing my identity even more. Because I should NEVER live in others' eyes. I should look and judge myself with my eyes. I have a beautiful soul, I shouldn't let others rot it. I have to retain my identity.
Never mind, may be I'm still young and need some times to find my identity. After the deadly STPM, I will go travel in Malaysia Island, and explore myself.
I think the most important thing is being honest to yourself. Speak out on behalf of yourself because it's so crucial to voice out your opinion in order to retain your priority as a free individual. You can't be shy or embarrass anymore! Just like today, I initially wanted to buy a pack of "air mata kucing" (because I promised my mom that I will buy it for her, two weeks ago) in the Petaling Jaya Street. Since the drink is quite famous in the local street, I decided to buy one more for my dear brothers. I asked them to "bungkus" two and the aunty was like annoyed by me. She asked me why can't I order properly in quite an irritating way. Then I explained myself calmly "oh! Initially I wanted to buy one, but then I changed my mind." She's like smiling to me afterwards. See? You need to explain for yourself, in whatever circumstances. You need to retain your dignity. You can't let others misunderstand your intention! It's so critical to voice out for no one but you YOURSELF. Sometimes, when my teachers asked me about something and I think I'm so stupid to say "oh.. I didn't know about that." yet after a flip second, you realized you actually know what's going on just that you either lazy to explain or don't know how to explain. In my case, I always don't know how to explain my situation.
From now on, I'm going to EXPLAIN for MYSELF.
What's the most important thing after all?
Your identity and dignity! It's OK to be thought as arrogant than to be thought as having dependent thinking.
Well, I just dislike people comment about someone looks alike with me. Not entirely alike, just "look" like me. My Biology tuition teacher, at first, was looking at a girl, then he was looking at me, then the girl, it's like looking at us back and forth, confusingly. I can sense something already. I knew he's going to compare or comment something with regards to our appearance.
And I was right. My sixth sense is always right. I'm always this sensitive.
He said whenever he sees either the girl or me, he will be wondering whether she's from Puching or Seri Tanjung; or in other words, whether I'm from Puchong or Seri Tanjung. He said the girl and I look really alike based on his biological point of view and our lesson last week was about Variation. "We" were sort of the feedback example of the previous lesson. I felt rather... distracted.
Com'on! You can't possibly say she looks like me or I look like her or we look like each other or something. I set my eyes curiously and had a glance at the girl and omg!! We're so different!
1. I'm wearing full-frame BLOODY-RED specs and she's wearing half-frame with dark colour specs.
2. My face *looks* smoother. (I just discovered some pimples on my cheeks recently)
3. Our facial features are so DIFFERENT.
4. I'm prettier (according to my friend)
I feel like I'm losing my identity. If somebody said I look like someone (other than my family members), I feel like I'm not special anymore. I want to be unique on my own, the only girl with this unique look and once you meet this girl, you immediately know she's CHONG MEAN SHAN. Even to a stranger, he/she should think that "oh! what a refreshing look." or he/she can feel rather so-so, being indifferent.
Sorry girl... You're fine. It's just me, being not right.
In fact, come to think about it, they aren't of any wrong you know. I think the major problem is me myself. I'm too concerned on others' opinion. This is what makes me feel like losing my identity even more. Because I should NEVER live in others' eyes. I should look and judge myself with my eyes. I have a beautiful soul, I shouldn't let others rot it. I have to retain my identity.
Never mind, may be I'm still young and need some times to find my identity. After the deadly STPM, I will go travel in Malaysia Island, and explore myself.
I think the most important thing is being honest to yourself. Speak out on behalf of yourself because it's so crucial to voice out your opinion in order to retain your priority as a free individual. You can't be shy or embarrass anymore! Just like today, I initially wanted to buy a pack of "air mata kucing" (because I promised my mom that I will buy it for her, two weeks ago) in the Petaling Jaya Street. Since the drink is quite famous in the local street, I decided to buy one more for my dear brothers. I asked them to "bungkus" two and the aunty was like annoyed by me. She asked me why can't I order properly in quite an irritating way. Then I explained myself calmly "oh! Initially I wanted to buy one, but then I changed my mind." She's like smiling to me afterwards. See? You need to explain for yourself, in whatever circumstances. You need to retain your dignity. You can't let others misunderstand your intention! It's so critical to voice out for no one but you YOURSELF. Sometimes, when my teachers asked me about something and I think I'm so stupid to say "oh.. I didn't know about that." yet after a flip second, you realized you actually know what's going on just that you either lazy to explain or don't know how to explain. In my case, I always don't know how to explain my situation.
From now on, I'm going to EXPLAIN for MYSELF.
What's the most important thing after all?
Your identity and dignity! It's OK to be thought as arrogant than to be thought as having dependent thinking.
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