Bitter sweets

I can somewhat smell the thick chinese Jerky and new year biscuits in the air of thoughts. It's getting stronger and stronger, I can somewhat hear the rhythmic sounds of the firecrackers playing in my mind. When I was young and lived in Cheras, firecrackers and chinese dried meat seemed to be the only things we concerned. And ANGPAU!! That time computers were not widely used in my area yet, it did not seem to be an allure to any parties, we were all living healthily and had a healthy and cheerful neighborhood back in Cheras.

Two years ago, I was working in Superfun Kindergarten and learned to deal with kids. I love kids. I want to protect them. That time I was thinking, if i make through the way of becoming a doctor, I will become a pediatrician, I even imagined myself giving a free treatments to all the poor kids out there, imagining myself working in rural areas in China, African... helping the kids. Haha！I can't be a doctor anyway, when reality came to break my hopes into pieces. I have no that much of money to study doctoral course and I'm not a genius, I admit it; but, I have got the helpful soul. In my family tree, no one else has been a doctor, in the years to come, when I've worked hard and saved enough money- believe it or not - I will cultivate my youngest brother into the route of becoming a doctor, provided he wishes it.

It's like a karma. Two years ago, I kept telling myself it's no way (NO WAY) to become a lawyer because I wanted something to do with medicines, pills, helping the patients... My father wanted me to study laws, with my sister and I denied. But, I'm defeated by the reality, in a way that I broke my promise and finally decided to study law. I'm preparing myself for a non-science course to take.I'm still keeping STPM science reference books with me, so that in the years to come when I suddenly play with my memory and remembered some sciences, I will have a reference; so that when my brothers ask me about sciences and math, I still know how to answer them because I still got the reference books. I love science. I love CHEMISTRY. I love BIOLOGY although I thought I hated it, I changed my mind. I love MATH. I love all those SUFFERING in Form 6. It's choking me yet bitter sweets. I loved two GUYS in Form 6. I miss KASTURI LIFE. I miss those HEARTBREAKING moments.

Collecting all the feelings with me, and I stand my ground promising myself, in 2013, it's never going to happen to me anymore. I'm a girl with dignity.

Thanks to Phyllis who shared this on Facebook ;)

Goodbye 2012! 


Thank you for reading. Off to Harcroft now, my grandmom can't help feeling excited and proud of me becoming the teacher there Hehe :)